Selflessness isn’t one of my children’s virtues. Come to think of it, I don’t know many children—or people, for that matter—who aren’t selfish. As sinners, we tend to be narcicistic. We place ourselves at the center of our lives.
But in His fatherly wisdom and love, God doesn’t just command us to put others first; He gives us biblical motives to do it. He doesn’t just tell us that we should love and serve others; he tells us why we should. As parents, it is important to not only teach our children what God expects of them, but show them biblical motives.
And when it comes to the subject of putting others first, Philippians 2:1-18 is one of the best passages to instill in the hearts of our kids.
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Christ: The Ultimate Example of Humility
Philippians 2 is one of Paul’s grandest theological statements about Christ. He tells us that though Christ is in the form of God, He didn’t cling to His rights, His majesty, or His privileges as God. He became a man and took the form of a servant among men. He went from the most exalted position in the universe and gave all of Himself by becoming human.
This is a story we should never tire of telling to ourselves and our children, because this is the ultimate example of humility. The very reason Paul tells us this about Jesus is so we can have the same attitude that Jesus had (Philippians 2:5). Jesus stands at the center of this text, beckoning to our children to follow in His steps, to become servant-hearted just as He was.
Motivation #1: Encouragement in Christ
The first motivation Paul gives for us to put others first is that we have “encouragement in Christ” (2:1). What he means is we have consolation or comfort from being united to Christ. The Spirit of Christ is in us. As such, we belong to Christ, Christ is always with us, and God love for Christ overflows to us.
How does this help our children to put others first? Think about when you are being selfish, those times when you are so focused on what you want that you forget about what other people want. What if, instead, we were thinking about the comfort we feel knowing that Jesus is always with us, knowing that we belong to Him. You would instead be thinking, “Christ is with me and loves me. He has solved my greatest problem in life. I have no reason to be selfish. I can serve others and know that Christ is taking care of me.”
Motivation #2: Comfort from Love
The second motivation Paul gives for us to put others first is that we have “comfort from love” (2:1), that is, God’s love. God doesn’t just tell us that He loves us; He shows us. While we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). Instead of punishing us for our sins, He chose to punish His only Son in our place, and He did this while we were still sinners, still offending God with our thoughts, attitudes, and actions. The Father chose to send the One He loves to die for us. Paul says this news should comfort us greatly.
How does this motivate our kids to put others first? Think about the times you aren’t humble, the time when you feel selfish, when you just want to have your own way, or when you mistreat or speak bad to others because you are being selfish. What if, instead, you were thinking about how much God loves you? We would be inspired to show the same kind of love to others, despite how they sin against us. You would be saying to yourself, “This is the kind of person I want to be.”
Motivation #3: Participation in the Spirit
The third motivation Paul gives for us to put others first is that we all have fellowship or participation in God’s Spirit (2:1). The Holy Spirit lives inside us. The Spirit is the one convincing us that Jesus is the Son of God, convicting us of our sins, and motivating us to seek God’s face. As Christians, we all share in the same Spirit, binding us together into one family.
How does this motivate our kids to put others first? It is a lot easier to serve others when you can focus on the things you have in common with them. When we recognize that the Spirit is in each of us, binding us together, it makes us want to experience that unity. It makes us want to set aside our differences and selfish desires and love each other as a family.
Motivation #4: Affection and Sympathy
The fourth motivation Paul gives for us to put others first is our heartfelt “affection and sympathy” (2:1). Paul asks us to think back to any times when we’ve felt strong emotions of love for one another.
How does this this motivate our kids to put others first? Often when we feel really selfish and we want to have our own way, it is easy to forget the times we felt affection or sympathy for each other. Often we can feel deep love for someone one minute and then an hour later they are getting on our nerves, and we just want them to go away. It is at those times we need to remind ourselves about the affection we’ve shared with them. This helps us to treat them with kindness and humility.
Motivation #5: Completing the Joy of Others
The fifth motivation Paul gives to the Philippians for putting others first is to “complete [his] joy” (2:2). He says if you want to make his joy overflow, then be united, be likeminded, and be humble. Paul reminds the Philippians of their love for him.
How does this motivate our kids to put others first? Real humility and being servant-hearted brings joy to those who have taught us about Christ. When others who have taught us about Jesus see us choosing to not be selfish, it shows them that our faith is real, that the gospel is doing a deep work in our hearts. Thinking of our love for those who taught us about Christ, we are motived to live out our faith.
In Conclusion
As parents, we should go deep with our children into the Scripture, showing them how the gospel doesn’t just rescue them from the guilt of their sin, but also the grip of their sin.
These are the first five motivations given in Philippians 2 to live a life of humility as service—just as Christ did.
- Selfishness is unnecessary because I should be comforted knowing that Christ is in me and God is taking care of me.
- Selfishness is ugly because it looks nothing like the person I want to become—a person who loves like God loves.
- Selfishness is unsettling because it takes me away from the unity we should experience as God’s family.
- Selfishness is unfriendly because it makes me forget about the affection and sympathy I really feel for others.
- Selfishness is unfulfilling because it does not bring joy to us or to those who have taught us the gospel.
You can learn more about this profound text in my husband’s family Bible study, The Heart of Humility: Teaching Your Kids to Put Others First.
Trisha and her husband Luke, parents of four boys, blog at Intoxicated on Life where they write about homeschooling, health and nutrition, and developing a godly family. They also offer a variety of downloadable books and printables that can bless your home and homeschool. Connect with Trisha on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter!
Trisha and her husband Luke, parents of four boys, blog at 
